What is sexy?
God! It is so subjective! To me it is the look in someone’s eye or the smell of cooking meat. It can be intention, like when a basically bad person acts out of sincere kindness. Or when an act, no matter how easy or difficult, is performed purely to balm another’s soul. Sheer abandon – watching someone so engrossed in their own moment that they see nothing outside of the pure enjoyment of what they are doing, completely oblivious to observers. Or the opposite, someone completely sucking up the attention they know they’re getting, and loving it in a way that is not self-conscious at all.

Nudity? No. It can be sexy, but it can be merely functional. And it can be very awkward. It is not in and of itself sexy. Hell, sex itself is often very far from sexy, when you are an observer. And yet, an interchange between two people all bundled up for winter cold can be very sexy and watching it can make you feel like a voyeur of a most intimate act.

Eating can be sexy, or just downright gross.

Certain manners of dress? They mean nothing. A tank top can be revealing in a sexy way or it might just highlight something you didn’t want to see like dried up deodorant or stretch marks. The same outfit that is sexy on one person, may just reveal the clunkiness and lack of grace in another. Like me in high heels. Standing still, sure that’s sexy. Walking? A fucking train wreck! And then some may find the vulnerability of that kind of train wreck to be sexy in itself.

Sexy is subjective. It is all about what hits that note for each of us individually. When we can see that, accept it, we have a chance to expand. To find the sexiness in things that are meaningful on a personal level, not just look for ways to be accepted as sexy. And when we reach that, we reach everyone. That’s when we just turn on everyone, like it or not. And that can be good or bad, but either way it is powerful.