Luna Orignaux

Have you ever set aside a day just for sex? I’m sure many of you have. If you haven’t you should try it. While it can obviously be a great thing for couples, don’t rule it out if you’re going solo either. An entire day of self love is not only refreshing, you’ll be amazed how you turn heads for the next few days! Whether you’re partnered or on your own, a full play day is a very healthy, happy thing!

Food
You can always incorporate food into sexual activities. If mingling food and sex squicks you that’s, fine, just don’t forego eating. Low blood sugar can make you cranky, depressed, and/or anxious. Keep your meals reasonably light so you don’t get bloated or sleepy and so you don’t get cramps during sex (much like the eating and swimming rule). Try to incorporate aphrodisiac foods, but unless food is the main theme for your sex day, don’t let the preparations take over the day. I discourage chemical laden foods, too, such as those containing MSG, because they make me feel sluggish and generally crappy. Even if you’re not aware of it, they probably make you feel that way too to some extent. Also, avoid excessive sugar due to the crash and irritability.

A little bit of protein, like meats and cheese, and a little bit of fruit, seem to work really well to snack on throughout the day.

Mini Spa
A little self-care can go a long way. You don’t have to go to a spa. You can do this for yourself at home. Just a little pampering can do worlds for you, or you can take it as far as you like. This can be done the morning of your play day or the night before. What I like to do is a coffee scrub, complete shave, full-body coconut oil (unless I choose to wait and have my lover do that part later), followed a glass of wine with a half hour of journaling with some good music, candles, and incense.

The Activities
This is really a matter of personal preference. All day sex does not mean that you have to do nothing but have sex all day. For most of us, that would be very unrealistic and probably result in some serious injuries. Anything can work. It really all depends on your attitude. All kinds of everyday activities can carry more than a little hint of sexual tension. Focusing your attention on your partner throughout the day can be enough to keep the sexual energy high. You could play board games, watch movies, cook, whatever, and keep that energy going.

Clothing
What you wear matters! That doesn’t mean it has to be all your sexy gear all day. You may feel more inclined to arousal wearing something comfortable. On the other hand, some of us get more and more turned on by wearing restrictive, sexy clothing. If your house is comfortable enough you may prefer the all-nude day.

Reading and other enhancements
For some, the play day is enhanced by some personal time. A little reading indulgence can help you relax. Maybe one of you enjoys porn and the other doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to make room for individual activities that foster arousal, just don’t let them become so much of the day that they take away from what you enjoy together.

Valentine’s Day is here again. I’m not complaining. I like the holiday, but it used to be something I anticipated with a lot of stress. This year is different. For my boyfriend and me, it will be our third Valentine’s Day together. This year I didn’t even try to make plans. In fact, we didn’t discuss it until last night, and what we decided was not to make plans. We will probably cook some steaks, if we feel like it. Other than that we will just go with whatever the day has to offer. That may sound lack luster on the surface, but it’s actually quite promising.

 

In years past Valentine’s Day was always a mixture of intense planning, anticipation, stress, and disappointment. I always tried to do something really special for whoever I was with. It had to be unique, personalized, and really convey my feelings for them. This would launch me into ridiculously difficult projects and often trying to get them to participate in things they just did not care to do.

 

I secretly harbored the hope that they were also planning something really special for me. I wasn’t looking for expensive gifts. I would have been perfectly happy with something as simple as dedicating some time to seduction. I just wanted any meaningful display of their deep feelings for me. I didn’t actually expect it, especially since I’ve never been the kind of woman who really goes for wasteful, token, girly gifts, but I always felt the pangs of disappointment when it just didn’t seem to matter. To me that translated to absolutely no interest in taking the opportunity to show me that I mattered. Maybe I overcompensated in the hopes that they would get a clue and reciprocate. Usually my efforts seemed to confuse and annoy the men I was with more than anything.

 

Either way, I always thought that it was supposed to be mutual. Somehow the idea of mutual actually made it make sense to me that I would put forth more effort. Guys are supposed to suck at that sort of thing, right? Did I mention that I have had the same problem with anniversaries?

 

Then my current boyfriend came along. He was shocked that I felt the need to do anything for him on Valentine’s Day. He said that he always thought it was really for the woman, and that basically it was the man’s job to come up with something nice for her. Wow!

 

Last year I ordered special cookbooks ahead of time and planned a whole day of cooking together. It was supposed to be a way to spend some time together (he has asked me to teach him to cook), and the foods were all supposed to be aphrodisiac in nature. It was a nice day and we enjoyed the food, but I think all the kitchen work distracted from our ability to just relax and enjoy the day together.

 

What was really spectacular, though, was what he did last year. He took me to the florist so I could pick out whatever I wanted. That may not sound so special on the surface, but it was really great for a few reasons.

 

One, he thought of it and planned it all on his own. It was the first thing we did that day and it came as a total surprise. Second, he told me that his original plan was to get up before I did and sneak out to get me some flowers, but he didn’t think that would work, and he thought it would be nicer if I got to choose whatever I liked the best. Third, it was also his idea for us to walk rather than drive because I like going for walks in the snow. So, it turned into more than just a gift of flowers, but something nice for us to do together.

 

So, this year our plan to not make plans means we have the whole day to do whatever comes up. No stress, no obligations, no bullshit. Just the promise to spend the day together enjoying whatever we feel like whenever we feel like it.