Luna Orignaux

Men with tattoos are hot! It’s not a requirement for me in someone I’m actually with I real life. There as so many things that are more important than looks in a relationship. Then again, if you’re looking for a one-night-stand, looks can be pretty high on the list.

When I’m looking for sexy pictures to gaze at, looks are pretty much everything. That IS the point. I find it very important when watching porn, too. So, I can get pretty damn picky about it. The problem is, I have a hard time finding images of men that have the look that turns my crank, and particularly have a hard time finding sites dedicated to hot guys with tattoos.

I don’t get it. I know there are lots of other women out there that feel like I do about the subject. When I have searched online the closest thing I could find was this site for gay men. I did find a singles site, which could be useful if you’re looking for someone and want to get real specific, but I’m not looking for someone. I’m just looking for a little eye candy.

So, if you know of any sites (I was going to say “any good sites,” but right now I’ll settle for finding any) that feature hot, tattooed men, please add the link in the comments!

A recent discussion brought to mind the thrill of sex in public. For me sex in public or semi-public places has always been extra exciting. Obviously, I am not the only person who feels this way. It always seemed that the most natural thing in the world to me; both the actual act of having sex in public place and finding it exciting.

It started out as the easiest place when I was a teenager and couldn’t get away with it at home. It was actually easier to get some bit of privacy out and about. That’s not so unusual, really. It’s where “parking” came from.

Later, when I was grown and could just go home, it was a matter of convenience and urgency. Who wants to let the heat of the moment slip away by waiting until you get home? What if you’re not even ready to go home, you’re just ready for a quick fuck and then back to the festivities?

Like I said, it just seemed perfectly natural, so where does the thrilling part come in? I know that for some the real thrill is the risk of getting caught. That was never my thing. It can certainly add to the intensity, but since becoming a legal adult, I have not had any reason to fear the consequences. I have been caught on more than one occasion and was simply told to go home or get a room. It was a good laugh, but nothing really exiting about it. Of course, with partners who actually were afraid of getting caught, the fact that they were so turned on that they were willing to risk it only made it more exciting for me.

The real thrill is the urgency. The fact that you want it so bad right now you can’t wait to go home or somewhere more convenient and comfortable. You just can’t wait at all. It has to be here and now! And knowing that undeniable desire and excitement is the motivation makes the thought of sex in public exciting in itself.

The biggest thrill is being with someone who doesn’t care about being seen or getting caught; being with someone who feels no need to hide their desire or their sexuality. I think it’s the combination of the confidence to be yourself and the willingness to let the attraction show publicly for all the world to see that really does it for me there. Complete and total, passionate, unfettered self-expression is so sexy!

So, what about you? Does the thought of sex in public places thrill you? If so, why?

There are two kinds of sexual fantasies – things you really want to try someday and the things that really turn you on to think about, but you know would never work for you in real life.

 

The first one is pretty straightforward. It may turn out that you don’t actually like it when you try it, but you know there is a good chance that you will.

 

The second kind of fantasy seems to be difficult for some people to grasp. On the surface, I guess it does sound a little strange to enjoy imagining something that you would never enjoy doing in real life. If you give it just a little thought, though, it’s not so strange at all. In fact, most people engage in this type of fantasy regularly when they watch movies or read books, but for some reason they have a hard time translating the concept to a sexual fantasy.

 

Horror movies are the most obvious example. Horror fans aren’t ashamed of enjoying watching people get killed in all sorts of violent and gruesome ways, and there is no question that in real life they would not actually do that to someone nor would they enjoy being the victim. While there are few rare people out there that truly think that horror fans are sick, twisted, and actually capable of such things, most people do not believe that.

 

To bring it a little closer to home, let’s go with something more realistic. I’m thinking of the movie Falling Down. If you’ve watched the movie there was at least one scene, if not several, that made you cheer and say, “Yes! I have always wanted to do that!” with full sincerity. The difference between the fantasy and the reality is very subtle, yet there is a big difference. You don’t bother analyzing the difference, you just know it’s there, and you never actually do those things. You don’t question whether you’re some kind of fucked up individual for wanting to, you know most people have that same fantasy and they would never do it either (although if they did the downward spiral in customer service might start to reverse).

 

So, why is it so difficult for people to accept this reasoning when it comes to sexual fantasies? They are nothing more than mind movies. They are safe. Safe for you and safe for everyone else. There are no consequences. None of the complexity of real life, such as emotional fallout or physical pain. You can enjoy all of the emotions you choose to conjure up and experience because you know that you are in control and nothing bad will come of it. When it’s over, it’s just like it never happened – because it didn’t. In the meantime, you can let go and enjoy the ride.

 

Analyzing the ins and outs of why people have certain fantasies is all fine and good. It’s fascinating, actually, and can be very enlightening. Hopefully, one day it will yield some results that lift the stigma on sexual fantasies. Unfortunately, most people seem to only go so far as to condemn themselves or others for “unacceptable” fantasies. Rather than simply accepting the fantasy as nothing more than a mind movie, they need some scientific explanation to justify it, to prove that a fantasy doesn’t make you a bad person ready to be unleashed at any moment.

 

It seems that we can accept any kind of fantasy as long as no sexual arousal is involved. Whether it’s horror or simply a story about someone cheating on their spouse, it’s just a fun story to enjoy until someone gets turned on. Then the guilt or judgments start to roll. These judgments translate to a long list of rules for writers if you call your work erotic fiction. In turn, these rules can scrub out authenticity, turning what could have been a good story into something that just doesn’t ring true. Or they can scare writers off altogether.

I have posted a poll on my other blog site (still haven't figured out how to post polls here).

 

I have noticed that I have different reactions to work deadlines and sex.

 

Sometimes when I’m down to the wire and know I have a long night of writing ahead of me, all I can think of is how much easier the work will flow after a good, quick fuck. Other times, I am so focused on getting the work done that there is no way I can think about sex.

 

When I finish a project, if I’ve really been pushing I can be too amped and too stressed to get in the mood, but then there are those days when I am so relieved to be finished that there seems like no better way to release all that energy than to jump right into bed (or onto the couch, or the kitchen cabinet).

 

And then there are those times when I really have a lot to do, but I can’t do it all in one stretch, so…

 

I’m curious to know how deadlines affect your libido! This poll allows for multiple answers, and if none of the answers fit you, feel free to reply in the comments.

 

 

I like reading about sex, new ideas, things to try, even the mechanics and chemistry of sex and arousal. I find it all very interesting and fascinating, and sometimes very useful.

 

I have also discovered that it can be very frustrating. Sometimes when I come across columns about “what women really want in bed” and I just want to scream “No! No! No!” and I hope and pray that I never wind up in bed with a man who has read and believed this stuff. I have come across the same pieces of advice so often, things that are supposed to be what really does it for women, that I have found myself wondering if there is something wrong with me, especially when I hear real women confirming this information.

 

What have I learned from this? As much as I like to read about this stuff, sometimes I have to get some distance. I think all that reading is good, and there are definitely some real gems buried in most of the things I have read, but nothing beats quieting all of that thought and just paying attention to yourself.

 

I mean really throw it all out. Don’t even let yourself think of things in terms of sexual or non-sexual. Just notice how you respond to anything and everything. This is during sex and just during your everyday life.

 

It is far too easy to try and categorize the sexual and non-sexual aspects of life. As if, we need a barrier to prevent us from getting turned on at the wrong moments, or something to keep all those sexual feelings in their place so that sex is one thing and everything else is definitely not related to sex. So you can say, “that is definitely not sexual, so it’s safe and appropriate for any situation.”

 

It’s just not true. Anything could be turning anyone on around you at any moment. A fellow grocery shopper may be turned on by the stiff print on her t-shirt rubbing against her nipples. The guy at the table next to you might be turned on by getting his fingers greasy while he eats fried chicken. Know it. Be open to it. Do not be afraid of it.

 

You could be watching a movie or driving down the road and suddenly find yourself getting turned on by the most unlikely thing. Go with it! It could be anything – a certain part of a song that comes on the radio, a color combination that you notice, or a smell.

 

In bed, you may find that the thing that really feels good wasn’t even supposed to happen – a clumsy slip of the hand that happened to brush you somewhere it wasn’t meant to, but really got your juices flowing. Go back to that, try it some more, even if it doesn’t seem like something that should be a turn on.

 

Maybe it is a position that you were just passing through to get where you were really going. Pause there! See if it works.

 

The point is – pay attention! Notice your reactions, even when they seem out of place. Don’t pass judgment, just follow that feeling. Sure, there is a chance that your partner will find it weird or get freaked out by it, but if it leads to hotter sex, chances are he or she will get over it.

 

So, don’t stop reading, but don’t freak out when the stuff you read doesn’t do anything for you, and don’t freak out when that really does it for you doesn’t make any sense.